Today I remembered what it was like to drive down that stretch of the highway in New Mexico where there was nothing on one side and nothing on the other side except for the desert and its plants and its birds and the shadows of clouds moving faster than we thought they could and the wind blowing dirt and dust and dead things like tumbleweeds across the road in front of us and behind us and into us because we had the windows down to enjoy the sun and the cool breeze of fresh air on that day in what we called summer even though it was weeks before the solstice but the it felt like what we call summer with its overbearing heat and its rays that make my skin turn pink and red but it never turns brown like I want and instead goes back to its pasty white in a rich cycle each year no matter how much I try to encourage the sun to kiss me harder and harder each time despite the fact that I’m also terrified of aging which is why I lather my arms and legs and face in sunscreen and lotion every morning whether or not it’s a day I will go outside or stay huddled in with my feelings and my dog and the sounds of a sad playlist I’ve curated just like the one we put together when we left the west coast to drive south and east and through towns we’d never heard of before and down roads we were unsure would get us to our next destination but we were willing to take the chance anyways because we were young and dumb and ready for whatever the world or the universe or God or whatever or whoever was going to throw our way during that time in our lives when we hadn’t quite understood what responsibility was and we felt like we were the main characters and everything around us was put there for us at that moment while we were driving down that stretch of the highway in New Mexico where there was nothing on one side and nothing on the other side except for the desert and its plants and its birds and the shadows of clouds.
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